The page is not for the weak of heart
THE RAPE OF A MEMORY
This page is about waking up one day and finding that life was not as one had imagined it to be. It's not just about the horror of realising that our beloved Ingela had left us in death. No, it's about the realisation, that in our desolation, we were about to be visited by great evil. This would take the form of total betrayal by people close to Ingela, me and the boys. These hapless inadequates were to try and destroy mine and Ingela's childrens' faith in humanity. They never succeeded. The plot back-fired badly on them. We had our faith restored thanks to other good people and the perpetrators were left with nothing. The phrase "what goes around comes around" has shown itself to be more than a cliché.
Most of this page will illuminate the evils of bullying. In a civilised society, bullying is often not covered by the law. It's an area which is hard to pin-point in legal terms, a big temptation for predators and rogue elements around us to do their worst and where they know they stand a good chance of getting away with it. It's an aspect of human behaviour which requires cunning, deviousness and of course a good sprinkling of pure badness. The main problem with bullying in the classic scenario is that the bullied are often weak and easy prey for the keen eye of the bully. Furthermore the bullied seldom seek help or report the problem, hence the growing and unaddressed problem in modern society. Literature is full of it, where jealousy, envy, aggression and most of the 7 deadly sins have found an outlet. What is comforting about litterature is that there is often a happy ending, "good triumphs over evil". In real life "Fate" nearly always comes to the rescue. Civilised society hates lack of order, ie criminal or immoral deeds, not neccessarily for moral reasons, but because it is a disturbance to good order.
Ingela, the children and I and our dogs lived a lovely, quiet, dreamy life in the country where we didn't "disturb" anyone. We entertained people, those whom would make the long journey to where we lived. I know they left our home with the feeling that they had been well treated. We were and are civilised people.
Ingela died in 2004. End of civilisation? What happened ? We were raped emotionally and financially by two people who had been close to us. This is frightening. Had they been some predator strangers lurking in the bushes we would have been less surprised. No, they were part of us ! They were Ingela's own mother, Britt-Marie Åkesdotter and Ingela's step-father, Hardy Olson. They ran rough-shod like a coach and four through the desolation left after Ingela. We were weak and nearly destroyed by Ingela's death. Nearly, but not quite !
The little mistake these two hapless freaks made was that we still had a lot of reserve left. Ingela, the children and I are very strong people. We have shown this many times when stupidity has tried to encroach on us. It was at first no easy task trying to realise what was happening and then to "man the barricades". A few good people came to the rescue. Four ! TME and L.L, K.J and K.B, four great people with total dedication to truth and to what is right and good. Bravo !
THE FIRST NAIL IN THE COFFIN
Ingela died in front of us at a dog show on the 29th of August 2004. She was only 41 years of age. It goes without saying that this broke our hearts utterly. We then entered a period of very depressing sadness
We were not to be allowed much time for the luxury of bereavement.
Three days after Ingela passed away, her mother Britt-Marie Åkesdotter arrived at our house with a piece of paper which I was to sign. It was a power of attorney whereby Britt Marie, Ingela's mother, would take charge of her daughter's remains and pay for her funeral if there was no money in Ingelas estate. In that, at Ingela's death, we didn't know what the financial situation was, we thought that Britt Marie's gesture was very generous and kind.
What we hadn't reckoned with was that this callous woman had no intention of paying for the funeral and wanted Ingela's remains so that she had control over Ingela in her death. Even worse and while we were in shock at Ingela's sudden demise, Britt Marie was secretly planning the equivalent of a state funeral for Ingela. The funeral was indeed so fabulous that we were all very proud at the lavish send-off which our lovely princess was being rightly given.
What we didn't know was that Ingela's and my children were unknowingly paying for the whole thing. We would in a few weeks get a bill for a staggering 10.000 Euros.
The bottom line here is, in case our readers are confused, that Ingela's mother said in writing she would pay for Ingela's funeral, if and which we did, give her charge of Ingela's remains and if there was no money in Ingela's estate. There was no money in Ingela's estate.
Ingela's mother ordered a funeral which was four times the cost of a decent middle-class funeral.
This is only the beginning of a series of events which will make most international best-sellers look like a harmless children's book compared with the cold-blooded scheming of an insanely jealous mother.
This hapless woman is not alone in the infamy of evil vultures who descended on us to try and wreck what was left after Ingela died. A few other spineless actors showed how easy it can be to perpetrate evil deeds on an unsuspecting family, weak from sorrow. These spineless wonders are still spineless and we are now strong. With no exception they have all gone into hiding. You can never hide from yourself.
RAPE AT THE GRAVE!
A few weeks after Ingela died it was time to lower her ashes into the grave.
We were about 14 people by the graveside I stood by the headstone with Ingela's favourite hunter, Annica (the aunt of our present Annica). We were waiting for Ingela's mother and stepfather. After a while we heard the crunch on the gravel as they came towards the grave. Annica growled. The funeral man read something suitable. After a while it came to lower our darling Ingela's ashes. I looked over at the funeral man and awaited his nod so that I would take Ingela's ashes and lower them into the grave. Suddenly Hardy Olson rushed over to the funeral man and before anyone could react he took Ingela's ashes and lowered them into the grave himself. I looked at the funeral man and shouted something. The funeral man didn't react but just kept a poker-face. Hardy Olson then looked at me with a malicious sneer on his face. Up to that moment in my life I had never met the devil. I now knew we had company. The shock was so profound that we all froze. An elderly lady, who was present, shouted at Hardy Olson and asked him what he thought he was up to.
It must be said at this stage that Ingela barely tolerated Hardy Olson, mainly because of his ill-concealed contempt for her love of dogs and her devotion to me and the boys. This pathetic control freak now took advantage of Ingela in death. He had many times tried to force his will on Ingela. He was never a match for Ingela. She would not be pushed around and she was also very intelligent and talented, something Hardy Olson certainly is not. I left the grave and have never returned. Ingela is not there and the boys and I don't recognise it.
However 7 years later we visited the grave with our dogs and we now return often to speak to Ingela and her brother, Robert, who is also buried there. Pity it took so long to come back to them but we were in shock.
"BEHIND THE BUSHES"
When Hardy Olson was being bawled out by the elderly lady after the ashes incident he turned to the few people who were left and said that he 'd had to hire four "security" men to make sure that I, Brian, the husband of Ingela wouldn't take Ingela's ashes.
Well, I must say that in this tragicomedy of farce, subterfuge, lies and deceit, I may be forgiven for having a good laugh. Did this pathetic freak think that the great hero, Brian, was, like James Bond, going to "steal" his beloved Ingela's ashes and rush up a dangling ladder from an awaiting helicopter? This is the stuff of exciting films with exlposions and mad car-chases around hair-pin bends in the Alps.
I had, until then, no reason to believe that Hardy Oslon was other than a boring old fart. I now realise that he was secretly harbouring fantasies of such wild excitement that the rest of us ordinary mortals pale in comparison. As I read this 13 years later (2017) it amazes me that Hardy Olson could leave the graveyard unscathed. In another place or another time Hardy Olson would never have reached the gates of the cemetry. I can only put it down to the excellent timing of a truly evil freak. He knew we were paralysed by the shock of his dastardly deed. We were also beside ourselves with grief at the loss of our beloved Ingela. Hardy Olson has, according to scources, a history which has often given him good reason to look over his shoulder. One day he may meet someone whose timing is better than his and that person will neither be in shock nor paralysed.
The above incident by the grave prompted Alex to write his letter. Ingela's mother and Hardy Olson are therapists but it didn't stop them from insulting me, the boys and Ingela's memory. The children had to grow up rather quickly.
As I write this 13 years after Ingela so tragically left us I will never be able to forgive these horrible people. Worse still I have never been able to explain to the children why adults could do this to us. Does evil come so easily to some people ? How could Ingela's mother and stepfather, who are therapists and in charge of weak people, confuse Ingela's and my children? Why would they want to try to destroy us when we were down and distraught with grief after Ingela? How could a mother insult her daughter's memory. How could she allow Hardy Olson take Ingela's ashes when Ingela couldn't bare the idea of his clammy hands near her. There will never be an answer to this. Suffice it to say that these monsters will never be forgiven, neither by me nor the children. It's not much of a start in life for the children to have to suspect that they may be surrounded by dangerous idiots.
Not from our side anyway. Ingela's mother promised to pay for an expensive funeral which she organised. She didn't pay. There is also the problem with an inheritance which Ingela's mother had in "safe-keeping" The total sum of money involved is 250,000 Swedish kronors, 35,000 Euros, or for our American readers, 40,000 Dollars.
If Ingela's mother has any regard left for her daughter's memory we suggest she put that money into The Ingela Barnett Foundation, administered by the Swedish Clumber Spaniel Club. The foundation was started by the club to foster Ingela's visions for the breed's development in health through working/hunting and education. Ok, Britt-Marie (Ingela's mother) now's your chance to repair the insult to your daughter's memory. I wrote the above paragraph 13 years ago. The Ingela Barnett foundation has not been approached by Ingela's mother. I rest my case.
This web-site was born in the aftermath of Ingela's demise. We will show good people of this world that not everyone has to take bullying sitting down. We didn't and never will accept the evil visited on us by a few misguided miscreants
This website is in the process of being updated
3rd Sept 2017
Zoey at the grave. We took a flower and filled the pot with Ingela's favourite sweeties. Zoey tasted a few
OUR FAIR-HAIRED ANGEL IS WATCHING OVER US FROM ABOVE
Ingela, we love you !